When God Doesn’t Make Sense: Finding Faith After Losing a Child
- Mike Stone
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
When God Doesn’t Make Sense: A Father’s Story of Loss, Faith, and Hope
There are moments in life when everything you believe gets tested.
Not in theory.
Not in a sermon.
But in real, painful, unavoidable reality.
In a recent episode of Truth Behind the Mike, I sat down with my friend Jakobee Cotton—a worship pastor here in Findlay, Ohio—and what he shared is something I won’t soon forget.
Because it’s not just a story.
It’s a question so many people are afraid to ask out loud:
What do you do when God doesn’t make sense?
A Story That Didn’t Go the Way It Should Have
Jakobee’s journey started like many of ours.
Faith as a kid.
Drift in high school.
Chasing identity in performance, relationships, and success.
He was a football player with big dreams—until injuries changed everything.
Then came a turning point.
Alone in a dorm room, with everything stripped away, he cried out to God.
And God met him there.
Not with instant answers.
But with something deeper—His presence.
That moment set Jakobee on a new path. One that eventually led him to Ohio, into ministry, and into a growing faith.
But the hardest chapter was still ahead.
The Diagnosis No Parent Wants to Hear
Two years ago, Jakobee and his wife, Krista, received devastating news.
Their unborn son, Jeriah, had a condition called cystic hygroma—a severe buildup of fluid that made survival unlikely.
And yet… they held on to hope.
They prayed.
They believed.
They trusted that God would carry them through.
But at 17 weeks…
They lost their son.
“He’s Not Here… He’s With Me.”
There’s a moment Jakobee shared that stopped me in my tracks.
Holding his son for the first—and last—time, he said he felt… nothing.
Not what he expected.
Not what people talk about.
Just darkness.
And then, in that silence, he sensed something:
“He’s not here… he’s with Me.”
That realization didn’t erase the pain.
But it gave him something else:
Peace in the middle of the worst moment of his life.
The Honest Struggle We Don’t Talk About Enough
Let’s be real.
This is where many people walk away.
And honestly? You can understand why.
Jakobee wrestled with God.
He questioned.
He poured out everything he was feeling.
“God… I gave you my life. How could this happen?”
If you’ve ever thought that… you’re not alone.
And here’s what stood out to me:
God didn’t reject him for asking those questions.
He met him in them.
“Lord, Where Else Would We Go?”
Jakobee shared a passage that became an anchor for him during this time.
In John 6, after many people walk away from Jesus, He turns to His disciples and asks:
“Are you going to leave too?”
And Peter responds:
“Lord, where else would we go? You have the words of eternal life.”
That’s where Jakobee landed.
Not in understanding.
Not in having it all figured out.
But in this simple truth:
👉 Even when I don’t understand… He’s still God.
👉 And there’s nowhere else to go.
What Faith Really Looks Like
We often think faith means confidence.
Clarity.
Certainty.
Everything making sense.
But Jakobee’s story shows something different:
Faith is choosing to trust God… when nothing makes sense.
It’s walking forward in the dark.
It’s saying “yes” without knowing the outcome.
It’s holding on when everything in you wants to let go.
And sometimes…
That’s the most real faith there is.
A Story That Doesn’t End in Despair
Here’s what I love about Jakobee’s story.
It’s not tied up in a neat little bow.
The grief is still real.
The loss is still there.
The questions don’t magically disappear.
But so is something else:
Hope.
Today, Jakobee and his wife have a beautiful daughter.
Not as a replacement.
Not as an explanation.
But as a reminder:
God is still writing the story.
If You’re Walking Through Something Right Now…
Maybe your story looks different.
Maybe it’s not the loss of a child.
But you’re in a place where you’re asking:
“God, where are you?”
“Why is this happening?”
“Can I still trust You?”
Let me just say this:
You don’t need to have all the answers.
You don’t need perfect faith.
You don’t even need the right words.
Sometimes all you need is this:
“Lord… where else would I go?”
And that’s enough.
Watch the Full Conversation
This is one of the most powerful conversations we’ve had on the podcast.
If you want to hear Jakobee’s full story—and experience the emotion, honesty, and hope behind it—you can watch it here:
👉 We Lost Our Son at 17 Weeks… But God Met Us There | Jakobee Cotton
Final Thought
God’s goodness doesn’t always look the way we expect.
But that doesn’t mean He’s absent.
Sometimes…
He’s closest in the moments we feel Him the least.
If this encouraged you, I’d love to hear from you.
What’s a moment in your life where your faith was tested?
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